Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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