I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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