roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Two words: nipple clamps
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