I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
