is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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