We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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