What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
