my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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