Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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