who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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