I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
