Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
