Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
