He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
