With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
