Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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