pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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