i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
