He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
