dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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