when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
