He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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