I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
