Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
