Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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