so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
