Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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