Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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