bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
