I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
