Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
