Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
