She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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