wake up i wanna do it froggy style
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
