walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
