Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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