Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
