walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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