omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
