Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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