Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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