Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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