U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
