It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
