Michael Bay diarrhea
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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