You're so nebulous sometimes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's get the cat blown out
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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