so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
