if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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