Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize