try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize