so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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