her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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