I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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