Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
