I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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