i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
