We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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