I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
