White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she peed on how many people?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
