I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
