Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
