That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
