it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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