Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
